My Child has a Speech Delay
You know what sucks? Baby milestones. No I don’t mean when your child reaches a milestone, that doesn’t suck. I mean the chart at the doctor’s office that says “oh your child is 6 months? They should be eating now.” “You have a 4 month old? They should be sitting up on their own.” “18 month old? Ok at 10 words at LEAST by now.” I mean THOSE milestones. Those suck. Because what if my 6 month old isn’t eating? Do I have a broken baby? What if my 18 month old isn’t saying 10 words? Are they stupid? NO! But man, those thoughts sure do go through your head don’t they?
My child is 2 now. And he has zero words. That is now considered a speech delay. I hate to say it but at times, I would get embarrassed. He would meet a stranger on the street and they can tell he is around 2 years old. So they’ll say “hey buddy! Can you say hi? What’s your name?” And then… silence. And of course my sweet outgoing boy will wave, and smile. But.. silence. And so I’ll fill in the silence with “his name is Paxton! We aren’t talking yet.” And then the questions. As if I didn’t already have thoughts going through my head.
Is my child autistic?
At the 18 month check up they give you a checklist for things they should be doing. And if they aren’t talking yet they give you another checklist. One for autism. Of course when you have a child with some sort of difference what is the first thing you do? Google it. And do you know what comes up when you type in “18 month old not talking yet?” A bunch of articles about how to deal with a child with autism. My mom and mother-in-law always hinted at the fact that they thought that could be Paxton. So of course, I thought about it too. (I just want to say if you are a mother to a child with autism you are strong and brave and your child is SO lucky to have you.) And if Paxton ended up being autistic he would be just as perfect as the day he was born. But when you have a child with a speech delay you just want to know why.
Did I do something wrong?
Was I not reading to him enough in the womb? Or when he was a newborn? Did I let him watch too many baby einstein videos? Did I spoil him too much so he didn’t feel like he needed to talk? What did I do wrong? Those all crossed my mind also. I would see videos of my friends kids talking at 10 months, 12 months, 18 months. And mine is just now learning sign language. I would compare and I would worry.
How should I fix this? Or is it something that needs fixing?
So many people would try and make me feel better by saying don’t worry about it. Every kid is different. He will talk when he wants to talk. But something inside me wanted to fight for him. He wants to talk SO bad. You can tell. And it is SO sad when he gets so frustrated just because I don’t know what he is trying to tell me. So I finally signed him up for speech therapy. He is still not talking, but man is he trying! I am so proud of him.
I am a mom. I worry. I feel like it’s just what we do right? So yes I thought all those thoughts. But you know what? Paxton is so happy. He is so smart. He has no idea that he is different. And when he is in Kindergarten chatting it up with his peers none of them will know he was different either. So if you have a child with a speech delay and you thought these thoughts too, you’re not alone. Your child is perfect. You are a good mom.
With love,
Megan
Here are some books we love that help with language development!